You Are Pregnant.

Y'all. When the doctor told me those words, I died a little inside [shed a thug tear for myself]. When I got out of the doctors office, I had a loud ugly crying panic attack. The parking lot attendant had to come check on me. I took the news so hard.

I am so grateful my partner had the complete opposite response. I was able to tell him outside on a nice sunshiny day and arranged for a massage afterwards. (had one planned for me right after his lol)

My parents though. PISSED. Correction, mostly disappointed and surprised. I'm pretty sure my parents didn't even think I was having sex, or like, thought I might be, but didn't want to think of their daughter in that way. I had just recently started casually talking about my love interest and then a few weeks later they met him and we shared our news.

When I told my work friends and boss, they were ecstatic which made me feel good.

Taking a step back to look at the whole situation these are the facts:

-i'm young (26)

-i'm black

-i'm a woman

-i'm the little sister (baby of my family)

-i'm having a baby

Of course I hit the internet to get some perspective on how to wrap my mind around being a first time mom at 26..couldn't find anything.

Over my life I've heard stories of black teen moms, its frowned upon and just kind of swept under the rug. It's not too far from being the norm and at the same time isn't accepted. My family always taught that you should be married before getting pregnant, so obviously being a pregnant teen defies that, but what about young adult pregnant?

Can we talk for a min though about how white teen moms have (or at least had) a whole show on tv. That show even had multiple seasons! how sway??! I know those girls also aren't the holy grail of their demographic, but yet they still get glorified by having a tv show. Why aren't there tv shows about the black teen moms??! They probably hustle harder than those girls to get the shitty version of what they have.

I digress, but I know y'all feel me.

It definitely helps that I'm gainfully employed, own a car, have a savings account and things of that nature. Now, I combat the on lookers and perceived judgement from the world of being an unwed pregnant young black professional.

For those of you in my shoes: its fine! and eff those who make you feel it's not.

You want to know why it's fine? Because it is your life. Own it. Love it. Live it! Can't nobody do what you do the way you do it. So, let it be and be proud of yourself.

Don't let anyone take you away from you.

I'm reminded of that scene in Scandal when Dad was reading Oliva Pope saying we have to work twice as hard to get half of what they have. Which as a black person, we know that to be the cold hard truth. At my current status, I felt like I was making it, but now having this baby on the way, takes me back a few steps. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO.

Fully embrace this journey of cultivating a life inside of you. Enjoy the opportunity to be a vessel for our ancestors to bring forth a new representation of them. Talk to your baby to ensure your little one is in an environment that is safe and full of love. Begin positive self talk if you don't practice it already.

You are a beautiful, strong, smart woman.

You are not alone.

You can do this.

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hey mommas!

Want to share your story about how you felt when you found out about your pregnancy? I don't want anymore women to be overcome by the single story of pregnancy that is available now. It's too plain.

Share your story and comment below!

This is me the weekend after I found out. I took a trip to see my cousin sister friend and gave myself a good talking to. Mini photoshoot was the hidden gem of it all :)